St. Jamesʻ Sunday 8-17-25
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I spent a few days this past week checking in on my mom and dad. It was a great visit, but like many family gatherings, it didn’t take much for the conversation to drift into strong “discussions” about politics and religion.
That first night, I had to laugh out loud when I turned on the TV just in time to catch Joe Pesci’s character in My Cousin Vinny delivering that great line about family life: “You know, it’s a family thing. Everybody argues. That’s what we do.”
While Pesci’s character was talking about everyday family squabbles, Jesus in this weekend’s Gospel lesson addresses something deeper—times when our disagreements become truly hostile and damaging. I know many of you struggle with knowing what the Christian thing to do is in such situations.
Here’s the good news: following Jesus doesn’t mean letting ourselves be endlessly battered. Even Jesus walked away from dangerous crowds sometimes. He told His disciples to shake the dust off their feet when people refused to receive them—not for revenge, but so they could keep moving forward.
But Jesus never gives us license to write someone off completely. There’s a difference between taking a step back and slamming the door forever. Sometimes the most Christlike thing is creating some space while leaving the light on—stepping away to preserve our sanity while keeping the door open for reconciliation.
Jesus says division will sometimes be the cost of following Him. The question isn’t whether we’ll face family tensions—it’s how we’ll handle ourselves when we do.
Maybe that means continuing to send birthday texts even when someone won’t respond. Maybe it’s refusing to join in when others tear down a family member who hurt us. Maybe it’s telling our kids, “Grandpa and I disagree about some important things right now, so we’re giving each other space, but we’re still family.”
Joe Pesci’s character was right—families do argue, that’s what we do. But at our parish family table, we’re learning a different way: how to disagree and still keep a seat waiting. In a world quick to cut people off, that’s revolutionary.
I know it’s not always possible to be in worship in person. But if you can, I’d love for you to join us at the family table — there’s a place set for you.
In Christ’s aloha,
David
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