weekend update

-Good evening. I’m Seth Meyers. This is “Late Night.” We hope you’re doing well. And now, if you don’t mind, we’re going to get to the news. At a campaign reception in New York yesterday, President Biden said that former President Trump is an existential threat to the country.

Not to be rude, but we know, dude. [ Laughter ] That was the original title of this show. [ Laughter ] The Super Bowl is this weekend. Some people will root for the Chiefs, some for the 49ers, but everybody will be rooting for Taylor’s plane. [ Cheers and applause ] Come on…Taylor’s plane.

House Democrats yesterday kicked off their three-day strategy retreat in Virginia, and the theme for this year’s event is “Finish the Job.” And Mike Pence is really hoping that’s also not the Republicans’ theme. [ Laughter ] When asked yesterday why he brought the vote to impeach Homeland Security Secretary Alejandro Mayorkas

To the floor if he did not have the votes to pass it, House Speaker Mike Johnson said that “people show up when they’re not expected to be in the building.” Yeah, that’s a problem. [ Laughter ] Democratic candidate Marianne Williamson announced yesterday that she has ended her presidential campaign.

She’ll now go back to her day job, which I think is ending presidential campaigns. [ Laughter ] California’s senate’s candidates are set to debate later this month at Universal Studios in Hollywood, where one is going to have home court advantage. [ Laughter ] [ Laughter ] Shrek.

Former Fox News host Tucker Carlson tonight released his interview with Russian President Vladimir Putin, where he asked him all the tough questions like, “Do you like me?” and “Okay, but do you think you could like me?” [ Laughter ] Democratic Senator Kirsten Gillibrand hosted a bipartisan bowling night this week

At the White House, and there was an awkward moment when someone mistook John Fetterman for the guy who repairs the equipment. [ Laughter ] Lawmakers in New Mexico are considering making drive-up marijuana sales legal. Until then, you’ll just have to wait until Brad’s working. [ Laughter ]

“Yeah, yeah, yeah, here’s your quarter pounder…” A Florida man was arrested during a recent traffic stop after authorities discovered cocaine, crystal meth, and marijuana — or, as it’s called in Florida, a balanced breakfast. [ Laughter ] The Margaritaville at Sea cruise line has announced that it will expand

Its Heroes Sail Free program for first responders. ‘Cause if you’re going on a Margaritaville-themed cruise, you’re going to want some first responders there. [ Laughter ] A man in France was recently denied the Guinness World Record for largest matchstick tower, after he spent eight years building his model of the Eiffel Tower

Using the wrong matches. Aw, no! So you mean that huge waste of time turned out to be a giant waste of time? [ Laughter ] And finally, authorities at the Fort Lauderdale airport recently arrested a man who allegedly parked his car on the sidewalk and then walked through the terminal fully nude.

Because Florida cops will put up with a lot, but you just can’t park on the sidewalk. [ Laughter ] And that was a monologue, everybody! We are off and running.