Late Show with David Letterman: Season 8

Wesley Snipes, Dido

Aug 21, 2000

Dave shows that he has a bandaged finger, claiming that he got a poison gas sensor alarm at his house over the weekend. He later breaks down, admitting that he cut his finger maki

Jon Favreau, Stone Temple Pilots

Aug 22, 2000

Dave shows a supposed clip of the Bushes applauding Al Gore's acceptance speech. Later, several of Joe G's customers participate in a game called "Pizza Survivor."

Jack Hanna, Wyclef Jean, Survivor Castaways

Aug 23, 2000

The cast of the original "Survivor" are featured in a special Top Ten list. Later, Dave chats with Jack Hanna.

Richard Hatch, Shaquille O'Neal

Aug 24, 2000

Dave asks "Survivor I" winner Richard Hatch about his "appearance" on the show last night.

Charles Grodin, Donal Logue

Aug 25, 2000

Dave shows the "rabid dingo" bite clip again; Biff tests his psychic abilities with unlabeled canned goods; Donal Logue promotes "The Tao of Steve."

Mary Tyler Moore, Papa Roach

Aug 28, 2000

Dave's finger still hurts; Paul offers to pick up Anna Kournikova for her upcoming appearance; Alan makes a special offer to Anne Heche and Ellen DeGeneres (who just split up).

Ricki Lake, Adam Ferrara

Aug 29, 2000

Dave fusses about the polar ice caps melting and The Weather Channel's inability to cover it. Later, Alan closes "Campaign 2000" by singing "Climb Every Mountain" and starting a f

Rudy Giuliani, Laetitia Casta

Aug 30, 2000

On the 7th anniversary of the first episode on CBS, Dave points out that he has made exactly 3,280 episodes in late night, and that his favorite was #1150. Later, Biff goes to a s

D.L. Hughley, Tony Bennett & Diana Krall

Aug 31, 2000

Dave quizzes a secretary from Hartford with "Know Your Employees of Don Hewlett Chevrolet-Oldsmobile-Buick in Georgetown, Texas."

Tim Robbins, Andy Kindler

Sep 1, 2000

During CBS Mailbag, Gerard explains why he's voting for Bush, and Dave marries Richard Hatch of "Survivor I" fame.

Carson Daly, Dwight Yoakam

Sep 4, 2000

During a segment called "Summer Memories," Anton recalls being attacked by a giant mosquito. Later, Carson Daly plugs "TRL."

Renee Zellweger, Bonnie Raitt

Sep 5, 2000

After reviewing stills of Dave's hand being stitched up, we're ready for the removal of the stitches, simulcast on www.cbs.com/lateshow. In the guest chair is Dr. Lou Arrone; he s

Jamie Foxx, Ben Harper and the Innocent Criminals

Sep 6, 2000

Alan interrupts Dave, claiming Monday was his 5th anniversary working on the show. He's mad because Dave forgot. He runs out into street, strips to his undies, and flips Dave off

Jesse Ventura, Spinal Tap

Sep 7, 2000

An audience member from Buffalo named Mel Chastain plays "Know Your Professional Bill Gates Lookalikes." Dave likes her so much that Biff hands her "Lion King" tickets.

Greg Kinnear, Jake Johannsen

Sep 8, 2000

CBS Mailbag: Dave teaches grade school, while "AP writer Adam Klymer" (the scribe Dubya referred to as a "Major League Asshole," as played by Gerard) gives the future president the

Marat Safin, Sting

Sep 11, 2000

Biff blows up a bicycle tube and a soccer ball with a tire pump; Sting and Cheb Mami sing "Desert Rose."

Chris Rock, Emmylou Harris

Sep 12, 2000

How Many Guys in Cat Suits Can Fit into a Coffee Shop? Walking in with no resistance are seven cats, a dog, Santa, a guy in a red cape, three monkeys, Moses, Dracula, Hercules, an

Sally Field, Eddie Irvine

Sep 13, 2000

A "Banned from the Classroom" bit includes a jar of spit ball spit; Jack Daniels drink boxes; Professor George W. Bush's Build Your Own Electric Chair kit; the book Human Sexuality

Al Gore, Crosby Stills & Nash

Sep 14, 2000

Warren Zevon fills in for Paul Shaffer, who was sick that night.

Kate Hudson, Supergrass

Sep 15, 2000

Nadine and Andrea rescue Calvert from under Dave's desk again. Later, Dave shows a "new" Hillary Clinton ad.

Sylvester Stallone, Rocco DiSpirito

Sep 25, 2000

Dave goes on another lengthy tirade, correcting an article that appeared in yesterday's New York Times Magazine, calling Rush Limbaugh a "giant bag of gas," and then showing a phot

Gabriel Byrne, Kevin James

Sep 26, 2000

Dave gives the results of Olympic events before they air on NBC. Belgium seems to have won all of them except one (Finland).

Denzel Washington, Mark Knopfler

Sep 27, 2000

Dave comments on Monday's rant by stating that while he has never been a non-voting Republican (according to the Times Magazine), he once registered as a Democrat. Later, Denzel W

Ray Romano, Ralph Nader

Sep 28, 2000

Dave begins the evening by announcing, "Tonight is my final performance." Meanwhile, Vince Gill sits in, and presidential candidate Ralph Nader makes a campaign stop.

Jada Pinkett Smith, LL Cool J

Sep 29, 2000

Dave makes another Ball State Football Update, declaring last week's 74-0 trouncing by Kansas State as being closer than the score reveals. Later, Alan Kalter interrupts Dave to s

Geena Davis, Tom Cavanagh

Oct 2, 2000

A segment called "What's On TV This Week" is interrupted by two guys who burst into the theater fighting. Later, Tom Cavanaugh promotes his new show, "Ed."

Christine Baranski, Green Day

Oct 3, 2000

"Late Show Iron Chef" -- Joe G. vs. Rupert Jee, Round 2: Rupert makes an omelet with Cajun spices, while Joe G makes a ham calzone; Maria Pope declares Joe G the winner.

Farrah Fawcett, Loretta Lynn

Oct 4, 2000

Paul's sick tonight, so Anton's in charge and Cliff Carter sits in on keyboards. Dave calls "Paul" (who has a nasty upper respiratory thing), with Barry White providing the ailing

Kevin Spacey, Lenny Krayzelberg

Oct 5, 2000

Biff plays "Super Unlabeled Canned Goods of the Night" (now with institutional-sized cans). Biff tastes chili, but Warren thinks it was chili the last time he sat in. He's wrong:

Magic Johnson, Jewel

Oct 9, 2000

Since Paul's still sick, a guy comes out to show what Paul would have worn tonight; Eddie Brill fills in for Alan; Al Rent of Ball State comes out to give Dave the game ball from t

Ben Stiller, Merle Haggard

Oct 6, 2000

Dave welcomes Rulon Gardner, who won the gold medal in wrestling at the Sydney Olmypics. Later, Warren Zevon promotes his new album.

Regis Philbin, Jim Gaffigan

Oct 10, 2000

Barry White impersonates Paul via telephone yet again; after the latest edition of "Pat and Kenny Read Oprah Transcripts," Alan plugs "PK: The Pat and Kenny Magazine"; Jim Gaffigan

Jason Alexander, Anthony Boudain, Foo Fighters

Oct 11, 2000

Calvert grabs a Kleenex® from Dave's desk during the jokes; Warren Zevon is still sitting in for Paul, who has developed pneumonia; a segment called "What Does It Cost?" reveals th

Martha Stewart, Spike Lee

Oct 12, 2000

Like he has on previous nights, Calvert walks through during the monologue. Tonight, he goes to Dave's desk, picks up the phone and dials, says "Get me the police!," hangs up and w

Mark Wahlberg, Incubus

Oct 13, 2000

During tonight's "Alan Kalter's Campaign Round-Up," the announcer sings an impromptu rendition of "Who Let the Dogs Out"; George Clarke attempts to lose weight by fasting through t

James Caan, Angela Perez Baraquio

Oct 16, 2000

Paul's back and finished with his lengthy bout with pneumonia; throughout the week Dave introduces vegetables that didn't win a prize at the fair, and tonight it's farmer Bob Fowle

Helen Hunt, Willie Nelson

Oct 17, 2000

Nadine Hennelly and Andrea Sande come out (a day late) with roses for Paul to celebrate his return. Dave announces that he's not feeling too well, so Nadine and Andrea come back t

Joaquin Phoenix, Allison Moorer

Oct 18, 2000

Dave lists some rejected Ball State mascot names from long ago, and learns that their previous nickname was the "Hoosieroons." So, Dave announces that Ball State may name its foot

George W. Bush

Oct 19, 2000

After months of fruitless attempts, Dave finally lands Republican presidential candidate George Walker Bush as a guest on the show. During the interview, Dave grills Dubya about c

Lawrence Fishburne, Lenny Kravitz

Oct 20, 2000

Dave show clip of Gov George bush from yesterdays show where bush cleans his glasses with sweater of lady standing next to him during break (producer Maria Pope)

Will Smith, Derek Jeter

Oct 30, 2000

Show #1500

Oct 31, 2000

During the annual "Halloween Costumes" segment, Calvert claims a dead fish as his treat and Dave's car the morning after All Hallow's Eve; George Clarke gorges himself on candy in

Alec Baldwin, Gil de Ferran

Nov 1, 2000

Calvert stands right smack in front of Dave at his desk and has to be shooed away; Biff, with a little help from Benny Agbayani, does an experiment on juiced baseballs on the roof;

Kathie Lee Gifford, Mark Borchardt

Nov 2, 2000

Dave calls Biff out to answer the question of an audience member: "Does he sleep with his headset on?" Of course he does. Later, Dave makes fun of a James Brolin made-for-TV movi

Madonna

Nov 3, 2000

Madonna makes her first guest appearance in over six years.

Don Rickles, Moby & Gwen Stefani

Nov 6, 2000

Dave reports that before the show he was trying to trim his hair above his ears and accidentally buzzed himself in the lobe; the winners of the NYC Marathon run through, followed s

Adam Sandler, Outkast

Nov 8, 2000

It's the day after the infamous presidential election, so Calvert walks onstage and asks Dave, "How'd Nixon do?" Later, Dave shows (bogus) CBS election coverage with the headline

Cokie Roberts, Patricia Arquette

Nov 9, 2000

Calvert comes by for a smoke, then sings "Who Let the Dogs Out?" with Alan; Cokie Roberts offers her predictions on the election recount, as does Patricia Arquette.

Lucy Liu, Aaron Neville

Nov 10, 2000

Calvert interrupts the jokes, asking for a sandwich; during "CBS Mailbag," Dave makes a quick trip to Europe to visit his three Dutch fans, then accidentally decapitates Paul; Lucy

Kid Scientists, Samuel L. Jackson

Nov 13, 2000

During the monologue, Dave does a "Classic Clinton Joke": "He's so fat he can't see who he's having sex with." Also, Biff reports from the election mess in Palm Beach County, Flor

Bruce Willis, Charles Barkley

Nov 14, 2000

Calvert comes out to tear up the cue card for the Classic Clinton Joke; Dave tells another dentist-related horror story; Alan congratulates Hillary Clinton on behalf of her winning

Mike Myers, Ricky Martin

Nov 15, 2000

Calvert serves Dave some coffee; Mike Myers shows a clip from a movie he made when he was 13.

Gwyneth Paltrow, Chris Elliot

Nov 16, 2000

Calvert comes out to clean his glasses on Dave's jacket; Michael McDonald (of Steely Dan and Doobie Brothers fame) sits in; the show closes with the CBS Orchestra playing the theme

Val Kilmer, Everclear

Nov 17, 2000

Anton tells about his troubles with a kid on Halloween; Dave's interview with Val Kilmer goes horribly awry.

Susan Sarandon, Kasey Chambers

Nov 20, 2000

After having one flag put on the set last night, Dave now has two flags behind his desk so he can "look more presidential." Later, Dave gives Susan Sarandon a silver gravy serving

Brian Williams, Faith Hill

Nov 21, 2000

Calvert comes out dressed like Dave and inspects a ballot; Dave demonstrates his improved facial maneuverability, and then thanks his dentist; the Brazilian Olympic bobsled team pr

Richard Simmons, Giselle Bundchen

Nov 22, 2000

Calvert comes out to comb his hair, and leaves the stage to a standing ovation. Also, Richard Simmons comes out in an orange and yellow turkey outfit, prompting Dave to defend him

Stupid Human Tricks, Keri Russell

Nov 23, 2000

Dave apologizes for last night's show. Later, he shows highlights from the staff Thanksgiving Party, during which Dave dresses as a pilgrim and Paul gets thrown out for being Cana

Matthew Broderick, David Gray

Nov 24, 2000

Calvert applies Chap Stick to his face; Dave finally gives an explanation for his behavior two nights ago (something involving how he won't let anybody touch his neck); during "CBS

Bette Midler, Jack Hanna

Nov 27, 2000

Calvert comes out with a remote control to zap Dave; a tiger cub belonging to Jack Hanna develops a strange fondness for Dave.

Martha Stewart, Christina Aquilera

Nov 28, 2000

Rather than do something, Calvert walks onstage, stands next to Dave for ten seconds, then walks away; Dave now has twelve flags behind his desk; Dave and Martha Stewart make Beef

Jon Stewart, Everlast

Nov 29, 2000

Calvert cleans the cameras; Dave refers to Paul as "President-elect Paul W. Shaffer;" Dave mentions that magician David Blaine is frozen alive in a block of ice at Times Square...c

Mel Gibson, Todd Barry

Dec 11, 2000

Calvert walks onstage drinking a quart of egg nog straight out of the carton; to promote Dave's upcoming appearance in Bosnia, Biff visits a troop stationed there. In honor of his

Charles Grodin, Bobby LaBonte

Dec 12, 2000

Calvert drinks more egg nog; Charles Grodin; 2000 NASCAR Winston Cup champion Bobby Labonte; Dave shows outtake footage of last night's "Biff in Bosnia."

Jay Thomas, Orny Adams

Dec 13, 2000

Dave shows a picture of President-elect Bush wearing a funny cowboy hat; in case there are any updates on tonight's decision, live via satellite, three guys stand around in Austin,

Helen Hunt, Robert Klein

Dec 14, 2000

Dave shows a clip of MSNBC's Bob Kur mumbling during his report of last night's Supreme Court decision; an audience member tries to sneak out of "Know Your Current Events."

CBS Mailbag, At the Drive-In

Dec 15, 2000

Paul walks over to adjust Dave's shirt; Calvert drinks more egg nog; during Mailbag, we watch "Dave's Trip to Norway," in which he ends up in Finland by mistake; Gerard thanks the

Sean Connery, Barenaked Ladies

Dec 18, 2000

Dave shows a clip of President-elect Bush and Colin Powell hugging rather awkwardly; Rupert, Mujibur, Sirajul, and Joe G. decorate the Late Show Christmas Tree; in honor of the afo

Tom Hanks, Darlene Love

Dec 19, 2000

It's "Bosnia Night" on the Late Show: Dave wears night-vision goggles during the monologue; the audience consists entirely of members of the Armed Forces; the Hi-Ho girls deliver t

George Clooney, Sade

Dec 20, 2000

In honor of his 35 years with CBS, Dave gives cameraman Dave Dorsett a fake Christmas gift; Dave announces that staff morale at the Late Show has never been lower, so Paul suggests

Juliette Binoche, Jonathan Witherspoon

Dec 21, 2000

Calvert sprays snow from a can on a camera lens. Dave squeegees it, but he gets the foam all over his suit. Also, comedian John Witherspoon does impressions of Nat King Cole and

Uma Thurman, Brian Regan

Dec 22, 2000

Calvert is dressed as Santa; during Mailbag, Alan prepares for a role in a porno movie by sitting in a bathtub filled with egg nog; Brian Regan comments on the joys of air travel.

Lily Tomlin, Anthony Clark

Dec 26, 2000

Calvert comes out with his shiny new scooter; Dave asks Steph/Monty to tape "Jackass" for him; Paul discusses Hanukkah, then admits that he's in a drunken stupor; Dave claims that

Jay Mohr, Snoop Dogg

Dec 27, 2000

Dave tells 10 "It's so cold..." jokes; Dave, Rupert and others bid a fond farewell to Joe G. Pizza, which is moving to W. 56th Street next month; Dave mentions a "Cue Cards Awards

Benjamin Bratt, Jimmie Walker

Dec 28, 2000

Dave has a special new year's message for the kids (not to mention his biker buddies): "Ride straight." Also, Dave tells six more "It's so cold…" jokes during the monologue, and

Matt Damon, Fuel

Dec 29, 2000

Sarah Jessica Parker, Jamie Bell

Jan 8, 2001

Dave mentions that Ed won a People's Choice Award for Best New Series. He says he's never won one "because the people don't like me." Alan Kalter brags about winning a similar awar

Tim Robbins, Julie Bowen

Jan 9, 2001

An old man resembling Calvert walks onstage after the monologue; 60's pop singer Jackie DeShannon sits in and croons some of her biggest hits; Dave shows (bogus) footage of Preside

Dennis Quaid, Jason Seahorn

Jan 10, 2001

The old guy/Calvert surrogate from last night stares blankly at the camera; Dave asks Steph/Monty for dental tools; another "Day in the Life of Hillary Clinton" skit is abandoned,

Kim Cattrall, Bob Sarlatte

Jan 11, 2001

Throughout the night, Giants placekicker Brad Deluiso kicks field goals. Also, Kim Cattrall claims Garry Shandling tried to set her up with Dave years ago, but Dave denies it.

Christine Baranski, Seal

Jan 12, 2001

Mailbag: Pat Farmer wears a skirt, while a hot dog vender (Michael Z. McIntee) sells Dave a hot dog with "I love you" spelled in mustard.

Dan Rather, Vinnie Jones

Jan 15, 2001

Dave shows a photo of a cake Dorothy made to commemorate the one-year anniversary of his quintuple-bypass; Dave asks Steph/Monty for some Miller® Lite inflatable chairs; after Barr

Sean Penn, Lauren Kessler

Jan 16, 2001

Dave starts off the show by discussing the launch of Oprah's new magazine, and then he shows a copy of Martha Stewart's rag, claiming that for a time Martha was penniless and livin

Matthew McConaughey, Elle Macpherson

Jan 17, 2001

Dave complains that his chair is not as comfortable as he would like it to be, then hypothesizes that it's the lumbar adjustment that's causing the problems; during the latest "Las

Neve Campbell, George Miller

Jan 18, 2001

Dave admits that he's addicted to carbohydrates; NYC Chief of Police Bill DeLace gives snow survival tips; Dave shows two clips of George W. Bush pronouncing big words.

Tom Selleck, Richard Ashcroft

Jan 19, 2001

On the eve of President Bush's inauguration, Dave tells one last "Classic Clinton Joke" from 1998. Also, during Mailbag, the staff falls victim to a gas leak, while a question abou

John Goodman, 3 Doors Down

Jan 29, 2001

Dave comments on yesterday's Giants-Ravens Super Bowl, then shows footage of MVP Ray Lewis with confetti stuck on his face. Also, Maria Pope introduces Dave to prison guard Debb E

Dolly Parton/William Petersen

Jan 30, 2001

Throughout the night, various celebrities (such as Regis and Dave) endorse a "Hacking Cough of the Night." Also, Biff introduces his report from Super Bowl XXXV in Tampa, where he

Patricia Heaton, Jeff Pobst

Jan 31, 2001

Dave demands that Johnny Knoxville from "Jackass" appear on the show; Dave shows a clip of President Bush slapping the first lady in the butt in public; Jeff Probst and a guy prete

Keanu Reeves, Tony Siragusa

Feb 1, 2001

Dave casually mentions that today is the nineteenth anniversary of his first foray into late night, and Nancy Agostini and Mike McIntee walk out and give Paul flowers. Later, Dave

Jack Black, Aimee Mann

Feb 2, 2001

During Mailbag, Harold Larkin goes to Jupiter, then looses his pants due to their extreme gravity; Alan Kalter discusses Good Morning America's plan to show a live childbirth on Tu

Anthony Hopkins, Erykah Badu

Feb 5, 2001

Dave's desk has been repainted a gaudy light blue; Dave rants about last Saturday's debut of the XFL, demanding that the players huck folding chairs at each other; "non-surviving S

Jennifer Lopez, matchbox twenty

Feb 6, 2001

Dave mentions that the front of his desk was painted blue the previous weekend, and now we know why: it's a makeshift screen for projecting various pieces of videotape. Amongst th

Marv Albert, Katie Holmes

Feb 7, 2001

In conjunction with a certain upstart football league, Dave announces that the show will change its name to "XLS- the Extreme Late Show," effective immediately. Also, Dave makes a

Regis Philbin, Rod Stewart

Feb 8, 2001

Biff reports from Bloomfield, Connecticut; an audience member plays Chopin on Paul's piano; history repeats itself as Dave announces that New York State Police Trooper William McCl

David Boreanaz, Mitch Hedberg

Feb 9, 2001

For the last month or so, a little old man walks onstage during the monologue, stands next to Dave, and walks away. Tonight, there's a twist: the old guy walks out, and followed s

Kelly Ripa, Jamie Oliver

Feb 12, 2001

Dave engages in a lengthy discussion about stomach flu, then calls Art Kelly upstairs to inquire about staff members with the virus. Shortly afterwards, Art hands the phone to Ste

Stupid Pet Tricks, Tom Cavanagh

Feb 13, 2001

It's milestone in the long and celebrated history of "Stupid Pet Tricks" as Regis the duck eats cottage cheese out of owner Rebecca Kraft's mouth. The sight of the stunt is so rep

Chris Rock, Spacehog

Feb 14, 2001

Dave shows a Valentine's Day bouquet he claims came from Jackass star Johnny Knoxville; Dave comments on last night's grotesque Stupid Pet Trick, then shows the clip of the "rabid

Stephanie Seymour, Nelly

Feb 15, 2001

Dave announces that last night's show has been pardoned by ex-President Clinton; daredevil Steve Direnzo jumps off the roof of the theater, then comes in to take a bow; "Biff Hende

Megan Mullally, Eddie Brill

Feb 16, 2001

A segment called "Dave's Henchmen Force a Price Waterhouse Executive to Reveal the Best-Picture Winner" pretty much explains itself; during Mailbag, a spoof of the upcoming film "H

Julia Roberts

Feb 19, 2001

Dave goes on one of his all-time greatest rants, this time protesting the inhumane conditions on Survivor: Outback, then chastises Tony for supposedly picking his nose with a cue-c

Samuel L. Jackson, Timothy Treadwell

Feb 20, 2001

Alan Kalter interrupts Dave with a few seductive words for Jennifer Lopez on the occasion of her break-up with Sean "Puff Daddy" Combs. Shortly afterwards, he starts singing some

James Caan, Nelly Furtado

Feb 21, 2001

Throughout the night, Don Hewitt (aka the Man on Fire) is body-checked by several New York Rangers; during Mailbag, an audience woman names her dog in honor of Dave ("Come along, *

Benicio Del Toro, Shaggy

Feb 22, 2001

George Clarke interrogates celebrites at last night's Grammys; ten grade-schoolers from Bowie, Maryland present the Top Ten; live via telephone, Dr. Henry Kissinger says the name o

Bill O'Reilly, Jim Gaffigan

Feb 23, 2001

Sam Moore (of Sam & Dave) and Billy Preston sit in; Kansas State University high jumper Nathen Leeper can't demonstrate his talents on 53rd Street because of a snowstorm; during Ma

Kevin Pollack, Dave Matthews Band

Feb 26, 2001

Dave shows off his brand new desk, then complains that he has nothing worth asking to "Survivor: Outback" loser Kimmi Kappenberg; Les Moonves and "Fidel Castro" (Tony) go out for l

Heather Locklear, Allison Krauss, Gillian Welch, Emmylou Harris, The Soggy Bottom Boys

Feb 27, 2001

Dave shows the woman/duck and "rabid dingo" clips yet again; Dave discusses the new theory that a meteorite may prove life on Mars, prompting Alan Kalter to go berserk with conspir

Tom Brokaw, Leslie Bibb

Feb 28, 2001

Dave announces that after a recent awkward experience, he will no longer attend network meetings of any kind; Les Moonves and Fidel/Inky continue eating lunch; Dave shows footage o

Martin Short, Jake Johannsen

Mar 1, 2001

Dave sheds more light on his rant from the previous night, asking Paul if an network exec has ever said to him, "Do you have a problem with me?" Also, Martin Short performs a musi

Michael Imperiloli, Josh Joplin Group

Mar 2, 2001

Mailbag: "My son Tommy turns five on Saturday. Will you come to his party?" Dave says he'd love to, then drives over to the kid's house. The magic of a celebrity guest appearance

Janet Jackson, Jill Scott

Mar 12, 2001

Dave introduces himself as "David Letterman… TV badass"; Dave discusses the handling of the non-surviving Survivor: Outback contestants, then wonders if they'll put him on probat

Denis Leary, Anne Bancroft & Liv Arnesen

Mar 13, 2001

Throughout the night, Pat Farmer shoots hoops on the roof.

Cokie Roberts, Uncle Kracker

Mar 14, 2001

Dave says he's finished sending lemon trees to guests he may have irritated, then makes his NCAA Tournament picks. Also, throughout the night, Pat Farmer shoots hoops on the roof.

Antonio Banderas, Nick Cave

Mar 19, 2001

The suit that Paul's wearing tonight reminds Dave of Colonel Harland Sanders; the band plays songs by The Mamas and the Papas, in honor of the recently deceased John Philips; Dave

Kristin Davis, Grant Paulsen

Mar 20, 2001

Johnny Johnson and James Burton sit in with the band; Dave shows footage of MIR returning to earth, only to decimate the camp where [i]Survivor: Outback[/i] was filmed; Alan rants

Jerry Seinfeld, Paul Simon

Mar 21, 2001

Dave introduces the bandleader as "Paul W. Shaffer"; the "spring flying rat migration" is observed outside; Bill DeLace does a hidden-camera Top Ten inside a beauty salon.

George Carlin, Powderfinger

Mar 26, 2001

A segment called "What We Love about Spring in New York" finds George Clarke in his favorite sundress and Harold Larkin beating the crap out of a pay phone. Also, Dave refuses to

Nathan Lane, Shannon Elizabeth, Cast of The Producers

Mar 27, 2001

Dave announces he's feuding with AOL, claiming that they're "a rinky dink little deal" and that the "bastard geeks" are monitoring his email; the Top Ten is aborted; Nathan Lane pe

Jennifer Love Hewitt, Train

Mar 28, 2001

A really tall guy (approximately 6' 8") sits in with the band; Biff goes to Chappaqua, New York to gather gossip on the Clintons; Train performs "Drops of Jupiter."

Johnny Knoxville, The Go-Go's

Mar 29, 2001

Paul's weekend plans are somehow incorporated into "Know Your Current Events," while Dave finally meets his hero du jour, Johnny Knoxville of Jackass.

Isabella Rossellini, Wendy Lieberman

Mar 30, 2001

At the end of the monologue, Dave does his suit-modeling shtick; during Mailbag, Dave gets included in this year's Academy Award "In Memoriam" reel; Dave decides that from now on h

Craig Kilborn, Warren Zevon

Apr 2, 2001

Dave and Paul announce that on Friday a 40-piece orchestra will be sitting in onstage later in the week; Dave rants about AOL again; Warren Zevon performs "I Was in the House When

Hugh Grant, Sade

Apr 3, 2001

Dave claims he's been sending tons of obscene e-mail to AOL and that is ready to sue them for monitoring everyone's messages; Biff makes his annual visit to Yankees Spring Training

Paul Reubens, Run DMC & Stephan Jenkins

Apr 4, 2001

The "Late Show All-Star Security Camera" finds 70's sitcom star Gabe Kaplan trying to sneak inside the theater; Dave and Gaines argue over a Top Ten list that may be too offensive

David Spade, Amanda & Jonny Schwebel

Apr 5, 2001

Dave tells a lengthy "driving home on 684" story, and later he chats with a pair of fraturnal twins that recently interviewed former President Clinton.

Carson Daley, Jann Karem, The CBS Giant Orchestra

Apr 6, 2001

After four days in the making, it's "Orchestra Night" at the Late Show, with fifty combined strings, brass, and woodwind players taking up nearly the entire stage; during Mailbag,

Mike Krzyzewski, Semisonic

Apr 9, 2001

Dave fumes over the reworked DVD edition of Lawrence of Arabia, and Jerry Foley letterboxes Dave and turns him blue to show the home viewers what Daddy saw on the disc. Later, he

Renee Zellweger, Stephen Malkmus

Apr 10, 2001

Holly Hunter, Idlewild

Apr 11, 2001

Dave returns to last night's rant about his faulty Lawrence of Arabia DVD, and announces that the producers sent him a new copy today, and that it did the same thing, thus leading

Tom Green, Dr. Geoffrey Marcy

Apr 12, 2001

Dave celebrates birthday #54 by repeatedly showing a Gap ad featuring a very comely woman dancing/walking; we are treated to a clip show of some of the various moments of the last

LL Cool J, The Living End

Apr 13, 2001

CBS Mailbag: "Who does your taxes?" Dave points out that someone named Jimmy does his taxes, and via flashback, we learn Jimmy is actually a dog. At the end of the segment, Jimmy

Liv Tyler, Billy Idol

Apr 23, 2001

Dave looks back at all the interviews he's done with booted Survivor contestants, then gives his usual cold-shoulder approach to 5th place finisher Rodger Bingham.

Billy Crystal, The Bee-Gees

Apr 24, 2001

Dave announces the woman from the Gap commercials is going to be on the show later this month, and then grumbles that he's given the Gap® several free runs of the commercial and he

Don Rickles, Jayson Williams

Apr 25, 2001

Dave reports CBS sales figures the Late Show has run about $750,000 worth of free Gap® commercials so far, and for the first fifteen minutes of the show Tony accounts the free item

Sylvester Stallone, Green Day

Apr 26, 2001

Throughout the night, "Gap Girl" Melissa Bernheim dances onstage; Dave mentions his victory at last night's American Comedy Awards; Dave says CBS will air this year's semi-controve

John Goodman, Jeff Stilson

Apr 27, 2001

Melissa Bernheim dances onstage again; during Mailbag, Dave's middle initial is added to the theatre marquee, but if falls off and kills a guy; John Goodman does his own version of

Kirsten Dunst, Cirque de Soleil

Apr 30, 2001

Dave comments on Survivor contestant Elizabeth Filarski's hair loss and how the producers of the show did not come to her aid; Dave (repeatedly) shows a clip from last night's live

Matthew Broderick, Brandi Chastain

May 1, 2001

Dave says the ladies on staff at the Empire State Building gave him a private viewing at the Hayden Planetarium. Also, Dave shows a (fake) clip of The Weakest Link where "Anne Rob

Regis Philbin, David Gray

May 2, 2001

Dave tells multiple "It was so hot today…" jokes; the outside cam catches a doctor at a sidewalk booth doing laser eye surgery with a magnifying glass; Dave plays the background

Bill Murray, Stevie Nicks

May 3, 2001

Dave announces he's the real Survivor; all sixteen of the show's most recent contestants present the Top Ten; Stevie Nicks performs "Candlebright."

Joan Cusack, Andy Kindler

May 4, 2001

Shuggie Otis sits in on guitar, and later the band performs his one and only hit, "Strawberry Letter 23." Also, during Mailbag, Gerard and his fake son Timmy comment on the pendin

Tina Wesson, Kate Hudson, The Blind Boys of Alabama

May 7, 2001

Dave mentions the Kentucky Derby, then whines about not getting to hear Dave Johnson saying "…and down the stretch they come!" Luckily, the other Dave does it for Daddy by phone.

Uma Thurman, Blues Traveler

May 8, 2001

Kid Scientists, Juliette Lewis

May 9, 2001

In her first appearance on the show, intuitive Deborah Lynn attempts to get George Clooney's phone number. She gives Dave a random number, but it's invalid. After the first comme

Jenna Elfman, Destiny's Child

May 10, 2001

Dave rants about last night's Country Music Awards, claiming it's not "real country" anymore; Harold Larkin addresses an important labor issue until the whistle blows and he has to

Heath Ledger, Lewis Black

May 11, 2001

Mailbag: "I'm going to see a movie this weekend. Which one should I see?" Dave introduces a segment called "Kenny Sheehan's Movie Review," during which the stagehand watches a movi

Charlie Sheen, Missy Elliot

May 14, 2001

Dave calls Art Kelly (the theater receptionist) about a possibly offensive joke from last Fridays' monologue involving Miss Columbia and having smuggling heroin as her talent. Dav

John Travolta, R.E.M.

May 15, 2001

Returning to last night's controversy, Dave announces Miss Columbia 2001 will be a guest on Thursday's show, then profusely apologizes for the heroin-smuggling remark; Dave shows a

Mike Myers, David Byrne

May 16, 2001

Dave tells a string of "It's so dry…" jokes during the monologue; David Byrne performs "Like Humans Do."

Andrea Noceti, Jack Hannah, Ricky Martin

May 17, 2001

A technical issue near Paul's keyboards is repaired in the middle of the first act; Dave mentions that a cover of The Weathergirls' "It's Raining Men" (written by Paul in 1983) is

Kelsey Grammar, Smothers Brothers

May 18, 2001

Mailbag: harp player Gloria Agostini plays live accompaniment for the chin-rubbing flashbacks, Anton feeds his goldfish chips and salsa, and Tony ruins the season finale of The Sop

Ray Romano, Dennis Tito

May 21, 2001

Buddy Guy sits in on guitar; Dave congratulates Regis on his much-deserved Daytime Emmy win; Steph/Monty tells an amusing story about her incontinent Doberman; Alan Kalter has a sp

Stupid Human Tricks, Ellen DeGeneres

May 22, 2001

Dave shows the audience his favorite (bogus) moment from last night's show: astronaut/billionaire Dennis Tito vaporizing Dave's head with his laser eyes. Also, Ellen Degeneres pro

Alec Baldwin, Yogi Berra

May 23, 2001

Ray Benson sits in; "NYPD Chief of Police" William DeLace gives tips to college grads; baseball great Lawrence "Yogi" Berra promotes his autobiography.

Tom Brokaw, Badly Drawn Boy

May 24, 2001

Dave celebrates Bob Dylan's 60th birthday with concert footage of a very old man struggling to play the guitar; Tony Orlando interrupts Dave to sing an original number about Memori

Danny DeVito, Larry Miller

May 25, 2001

Mailbag: "Have you ever seen the Monkey Man?" Dave introduces the Monkey Man, who as any keen-eyed viewer can attest, is actually Gerard Mulligan in disguise. Monkey Man shows us

Helio Castroneves, Tom Dreesen, Lucinda Williams

Jun 4, 2001

Dave presents the new studio floor, which is now dark blue after several years of being crimson red; Dave admits he's having problems with his computer; Biff mentions that he's los

David Duchovny, Trisha Yearwood

Jun 5, 2001

Paul accidentally interrupts the monologue by getting attacked by a bee during the monologue, and Dave gives him grief for the remainder of the show.

Jimmy Fallon, The Black Crowes

Jun 6, 2001

It's time for a segment called "For the Kids." George Clarke hogs the attention of an ice cream vendor, a Toys r Us employee takes a bow, Tony attempts to teach basic phrases in Sp

Dan Rather, Elvis Costello & Anne Sofie von Otter

Jun 7, 2001

Dave drones on and on about a buzzkill staffer who declined Dave's offer of a free apple; in honor of this unknown staffer, Paul reprises his hit song "Lumpy Colon"; Dave repeats R

Andy Dick, Brian Regan

Jun 8, 2001

During Mailbag, Dave is repelled by President Bush's daughter "Debbie" (Gerard); ten CBS affiliate weathermen present the Top Ten; Andy Dick promotes Go Fish.

Marv Albert, Sugar Ray

Jun 11, 2001

Dave criticizes the Los Angeles Lakers' "pixie" jerseys; Dave shows news footage of a bear in somebody's swimming pool, and then claims it's his backyard; Paul introduces some dwee

Luke Perry, Jim White

Jun 12, 2001

Paul wins the latest round of "Late Show Pay Phone Trifecta"; Dave chats with Steph/Monty via telephone to discuss a blind date that never happened; the "Top Ten Other Television S

Kim Cattrell, Mary Chapin Carpenter

Jun 13, 2001

Dave helps Paul with some computer problems; in honor of the coming demise of Bozo the Clown, Dave shows (bogus) footage of the kiddie show star; Tony Mendez tries to help NYC's re

Star Jones, blink-182

Jun 14, 2001

Dave continues to discuss the retirement of Bozo the Clown, but his remarks about big, red, ugly hair results in an inevitable hissy fit from Alan. Also, Dave honors the passing o

Jon Stewart, David Brenner

Jun 15, 2001

Mailbag: "Can I host the show for a few minutes?" Sure enough, viewer Jason Lynch is hosting the show, while Dave sits in the green room watching Leno. Also, Paul admits that he j

Dikenbe Mutombo, David Bowley, Cesaria Evora

Jun 18, 2001

After Paul admits that he doesn't recall what he looks like, Dave calls receptionist Art Kelly to ask if he's ever been formally introduced to the bandleader. Art doesn't give Dav

Tom Arnold, David Sedaris

Jun 19, 2001

Team Rahal racer Kenny Brack inexpicably sits in on guitar, while David Sedaris reads a selection from his new book.

Jimmy Kimmel, PJ Harvey

Jun 20, 2001

A remarkably slim and trim Biff introduces footage of him hanging out at the Grand Prix in Detroit. Also, Dave and Paul (of all people) talk about hair care, which proceeds into a

Ewan McGregor, Moby

Jun 21, 2001

Paul sits in the guest chair for five minutes so he can promote Cover Wars, a new game show he's hosting on VH1. Also, Alan announces that Epil stop n' spray is the new official s

Chris Elliot, Harry Hill

Jun 22, 2001

Mailbag: "What would you do if the world was coming to an end?" Dave admits he doesn't know much about this topic, so he introduces astrophysicist "Dr. Saul Perlmütter" (Gerard),

John McCain, Shawn Wayans

Jun 25, 2001

Dave has another rant about his computer problems, claiming that Late Show techno-guru Walter Kim keeps coming to his house on weekends to try to help, but he steers clear of insul

Catherine Zeta-Jones, Depeche Mode

Jun 26, 2001

Dave continues to steam over his technological issues; Catherine Zeta-Jones calls Dave "Jay" and profusely apologizes; Depeche Mode performs "I Feel Loved."

Marlon Wayans, Alan Webb, Coldplay

Jun 27, 2001

Dave's computer problems only get worse, as he couldn't name a certain part he needed, causing IBM to send him the wrong part. Also, Dave chats with prep athlete Alan Webb, the ne

Sean Hayes, Brian Wilson, Darrius Rucker, Matthew Sweet

Jun 28, 2001

Dave goes on a spiel about the traffic on the interstate this morning; an "Incredible Dog Challenge" is held outside, with the winning dog jumping over a giant phony check for a mi

Tony Danza, Nick DiPaolo

Jun 29, 2001

Mailbag: all of tonight's letters are read by James Earl Jones, George Clarke's flashback to a night of sex and gambling is sponsored by Donald Trump's Taj Mahal hotel, and an alle

Reese Witherspoon, Jonatha Brooke

Jul 9, 2001

Dave announces that he may have parasites crawling around head, prompting Paul to call him a "maggot brain"; Dave and Steph/Monty go over vacation pictures; Dave confirms that he h

Julia Roberts, Travis

Jul 10, 2001

Dave announces that Jude Brennan's cousin (a parasite expert) has told him that there's nothing to worry about. Also, on a remarkably star-studded night, Puff Daddy appears for a

Edward Norton, Dido

Jul 11, 2001

Dave grumbles about the lack of quality guests appearing on the show, during which Paul comments on his inappropriate question towards Julia Roberts ("Are you getting laid these da

Juliana Marguiles, George Miller

Jul 12, 2001

Dave theorizes on the show's four Emmy nominations (announced earlier that day)- either no one's watching or the voters don't care anymore; for the second night in a row, Alan is b

Vince Vaughn, Elayne Boosler

Jul 13, 2001

Dave introduces "live satellite feed" of President Bush staring of into space; during Mailbag, Alan throws one of tonight's letter writers (played by Jay Johnson) out of a fourth-s

Piedmont Bird Callers, Hank Azaria, Maria McKee

Jul 16, 2001

Rather than come out of nowhere, Dave orders the muscle guy to pummel Alan; during a segment called "Summertime Leftovers," Dave once again shows footage of his "look-alike" (himse

Kelly Ripa, Bob Sarlotte

Jul 17, 2001

Alan is caught nibbling on a pizza, but surprisingly doesn't get beaten up; Dave makes a snarky comment about Jay Leno's chin; former David Letterman Show announcer Bob Sarlette ta

John McEnroe, Youssou N'Dour

Jul 18, 2001

Alan orders a pizza, and the delivery guy beats him up; live via satellite from the Indianapolis suburbs, Dorothy celebrates her 80th birthday with a Dave impersonator and a fridge

Jon Favreau, The Holmes Brothers

Jul 19, 2001

Another pizza for Alan results in another beating for Alan; Dave shows a photo of the FBI Building with the "I" missing; Joan Osbourne and The Holmes Brothers perform "Can't No Gra

Billy Crystal, Al Lubel

Jul 20, 2001

Dave brags about his mom's 80th birthday "whoop-tee-doo and grabass" this weekend; during Mailbag, Dave rescues Paul from The Man on Fire; Billy Crystal clobbers the guy who regula

Jeff Meyer, Christopher Walken, Widespread Panic

Jul 23, 2001

A celebration for Calvert's 80th birthday turns into an excuse for Dave to ignore him and flirt with the Hi-Ho girls; Dave chats with Jeff Meyer, who named a poplar tree after Dadd

Tom Selleck, David Rakoff

Jul 24, 2001

Delbert McClinton sits in; Steph/Monty (live via telephone from the 12th floor) discusses in length her plans from last weekend; Tom Selleck introduces an old movie clip of him, an

Mark Wahlberg, Michael Lomonaco, Tegan & Sara

Jul 25, 2001

Dave proudly announces that he's wearing orange socks tonight, but only so he can shove Steph's face into a birthday cake after the show; Alan gets beat up yet again, and remains b

Greg Kinnear, Afro Celt Sound System & Peter Gabriel

Jul 26, 2001

The tambourine player sitting in with the band beats up Alan; Dave shows another old comedy clip to kill time (Show #818, Dave's harassment of delivery people); Greg Kinnear tells

Marilu Henner, Hugh Fink

Jul 27, 2001

Mailbag: "How long has Paul been bald?" Dave fears that this might be a sensitive question, but Paul rubs his chin anyway. A flashback reveals that Paul used to have a long, wavy

Kristin Davis, Nanci Griffith, Mark Borschardt

Jul 30, 2001

Some guy dressed up as "Lance Armstrong" comes onstage on a bicycle and beats up Alan, then runs over to Hello Deli to pummel Rupert. Later, Dave shows photos of him stuffing Step

Sean Combs

Jul 31, 2001

Dave makes Rupert play a deli-themed version of "Beat the Clock." Later, after his conversation with Sean Combs goes longer than expected, Dave is forced to chat with newsanchor D

Lance Armstrong, Thora Birch, Jamie O'Neal

Aug 1, 2001

Nicole Kidman, Iggy Pop

Aug 2, 2001

Antonio Banderas, Jeffrey Ross

Aug 3, 2001