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Season guide

Late Show with David Letterman: Season 7

196 episodes Premiered Sep 7, 1999 Updated Sep 25, 2026
Previously on Late Show with David Letterman

Season 7 Lore Primer

Key plot threads, lore context, and character stakes you need to remember before diving into this season.

  • ⚡ Directly follows the overarching narrative developments of Late Show with David Letterman Season 6.
  • ⚡ Faction dynamics and core character alliances shift under escalating external stakes.
  • ⚡ Crucial mysteries introduced previously reach key turning points and narrative reckonings.
  • ⚡ Sets up serialized story arcs that build directly toward the climactic season finale.
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Season 7 Episodes

Episode Guide

🛡️ SPOILER SHIELD

Season 7 Progress Shield

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Binge Efficiency Engine

Season 7: Filler vs. Essential Canon

Filter episodes by narrative weight. Focus on essential mytharc and skip standalone side quests.

Time Saved 2.3h Skipping 3 filler episodes
97%
Mytharc (3): Crucial lore & season climaxes
Core (190): Character development & subplots
Side Quest (3): Standalone / filler
S7·E1 Mytharc

Kevin James, Sheryl Crow

Sep 7, 1999

Dave rants about the CBS/Viacom merger; Kevin James promotes a new comedy special.

S7·E2 Core

Ricki Lake, Kid Rock

Sep 8, 1999

Dave tries to call Sumner Redstone's office, then persuades Ricki Lake to make a crank call to Oprah.

S7·E4 Core

Queen Latifah, John Popper

Sep 10, 1999

John Popper sits in with the band, while Alan punches Sumner Redstone during CBS Mailbag.

S7·E5 Core

John McEnroe, Sharon Lawrence, Nanci Griffith

Sep 13, 1999

George Clarke dances in a diaper; Dave shows a ""highlight"" from last night's Emmy win: a clip of Rob Burnett kissing his wife at the ceremony (he forgot last year).

S7·E7 Core

John Leguizamo, Meat Loaf

Sep 15, 1999

Throughout the night, staffer Brian Donahue falls down staircases. Later, Meatloaf promotes ""Crazy in Alabama.""

S7·E8 Core

Jenna Elfman, Chris Kattan, Christine Aguilera

Sep 16, 1999

With the possibility of a rare hurricane hitting New York City, Paul checks for ""talk show closings"" and Dave comes on stage in a poncho and galoshes. Meanwhile, Jenna Elfman hi

S7·E9 Core

Heather Locklear, Keyshawn Johnson

Sep 17, 1999

During CBS Mailbag, Alan threatens to beat up Secretary of the Treasury Lawrence Summers, but he goes to his anger management counselor instead.

S7·E10 Core

Michael J. Fox, Heather French

Sep 20, 1999

Joe Haden fills in for Alan; Warren Zevon fills in for Paul; Rupert walks over to the CBS Store and reviews the new fall shows on CBS.

S7·E11 Core

Robin Williams, Norm MacDonald

Sep 21, 1999

Paul and a local high schooler try their best to learn how to parallel park, while Robin Williams promotes ""Bicentennial Man.""

S7·E13 Core

Mark Wahlberg, Adam Sandler, Roger Ebert

Sep 23, 1999

Dave announces that next year, the show will be rechristened ""Late Show 2000,"" while Roger Ebert promotes his revamped talk show.

S7·E15 Core

Kevin Pollak, Tom Waits

Sep 27, 1999

Biff gives a blanket to a cold audience girl; Chewy the Dog looks for truffles; Tom Waits sings with a bullhorn.

S7·E16 Core

Nathan Lane, Emmylou Harris & Linda Rondstadt

Sep 28, 1999

Nadine, Andrea, Sirajul (but not Mujibur) and Joe G. play ""Who Wants to Win a Giant Phony Check for $1,000,000?"" Later, Alan promotes a film he just produced called ""For the La

S7·E17 Core

Mia Farrow, Russell Crowe, Paula Cole Band

Sep 29, 1999

Dave tells another dentist-related horror story; in ""New for Fall,"" Mujibur and Sirajul star in the Bollywood musical ""Basanta Gan Gaibay""; Evander Holyfield presents the Top T

S7·E18 Core

Kevin Spacey, Eurythmics

Sep 30, 1999

Kevin Spacey promotes ""American Beauty,"" then gives Dave a bag of Presidential M&M's. Later, Harold Larkin tells one of the ""True Stories of the Late Show Stagehands"": He walk

S7·E19 Core

Kelsey Grammer, Rebecca Gayheart

Oct 1, 1999

Alan's angry because he's not allowed to punch anybody; Dave goes berzerk adjusting his tie; Alan beats up writer Joe Toplyn under Mujibur and Sirajul's supervision.

S7·E20 Core

Harrison Ford, David Bowie

Oct 4, 1999

""Biff Henderson's America"" spends four days in Turkey, Texas; David Bowie performs ""Thursday's Child.""

S7·E21 Core

Dan Quayle, Melissa Ethridge

Oct 5, 1999

Mujibur and Sirajul sample food at Hello Deli; an ad for ""Late Show on Tour,"" with Jackie Mason playing Dave; In honor of tonight's guest, Dave announces that he will no longer m

S7·E22 Core

Lili Tomlin, Leah Remini, Beth Hart

Oct 6, 1999

Tonight's edition of ""True Stories of the Late Show Stagehands"" finds Pat and Kenny in a plane crash over the Andes, where they're reduced to cannibalism.

S7·E23 Core

Jesse Ventura, Amy Brennamen, ZZ Top

Oct 7, 1999

A 100-year-old man presents the Top Ten; Biff waits on the fire escape by 53rd street and yells to President Clinton's motorcade that he has snacks.

S7·E24 Core

Jack Hanna, Peter Fonda, Sting

Oct 8, 1999

1999: During CBS Mailbag, Pat Farmer presents ""Great Pats throughout History."" Later, Sting performs ""Brand New Day.""

S7·E27 Core

Farrah Fawcett

Oct 13, 1999

The outside cam presents Paul Fiore's driver's test in New Jersey, with commentary by Biff and pictures from the WCBS-TV helicopter. When he finishes the test, a babe presents him

S7·E28 Core

John Malkovich, Harland Williams

Oct 14, 1999

Warren Zevon fills in for Paul yet again; Dave wants to say the s-word ""because they did on ‘Chicago Hope,'"" tries it, and gets beeped; Biff gives Yankees tickets to an audienc

S7·E29 Core

Austin Payne, Patricia Arquette, Moby

Oct 15, 1999

During CBS Mailbag, Alan Kalter promotes his Millenium Party, which looks like a disaster in the making. Later, Dave presents ""Top Ten Things That Sound Creepy When Said by John

S7·E31 Core

John Cusack, Bob Sarlatte, LeAnn Rimes

Oct 26, 1999

Dave shows a clip from the recently cancelled CBS sitcom Work With Me. Later, David Diaz of WCBS-TV beats up a punk during an on-the-street report.

S7·E33 Core

Joe Torre, Denzel Washington

Oct 28, 1999

Security boss Bill DeLace disrupts last night's Gore-Bradley debate; your 1999 World Champion New York Yankees present the Top Ten; Denzel Washington plugs ""The Bone Collector.""

S7·E34 Core

Meryl Streep, Natalie Merchant

Oct 29, 1999

Dave shows a dumb picture of him outside, then gets marksman Armando Aiello to shoot paint balls at it; Dave disses Harmony Korine, who made some choice comments after getting bump

S7·E35 Core

Luke Perry, Jimmy Kimmel, Garbage

Nov 1, 1999

Dave tells a lengthy Halloween candy story, then incorporates his voice into the talking dog from those ""Taco Bell"" commercials.

S7·E37 Core

Bill Cosby, Milla Jovovich

Nov 3, 1999

14-year-old music prodigy Shannon Kerman sits in; Paul's most vivid memory of this year's World Series is reinterpreted by Martin Scorsese and Ricky Martin; after Mujibur and Siraj

S7·E39 Core

Regis Philbin, Mitch Hedberg

Nov 5, 1999

Live via satellite, a lone microphone stands in the sun for an open mike night in the Mojave Desert. Also, Dr. Lou Arrone gives flu shots to the audience.

S7·E40 Core

Woody Harrelson, Bobby Rahal

Nov 8, 1999

NYC Marathon winners Joseph Chebet (of Kenya) and Adrianna Fernandez (of Mexico) run across the stage; Dave mentions that staff members Jay Johnson, Fred Dhimizu and Patty McDonald

S7·E41 Core

Don Rickles, Jane Clayson

Nov 9, 1999

Dave mentions that he's #64 on Entertainment Weekly's list of 100 Greatest Entertainers (inbetween Joni Mitchell and Jim Carrey); live via satellite, it's another Open Mic Night in

S7·E42 Core

Jack Hanna, Bob Hoskins, Melanie C

Nov 10, 1999

Dave announces the premiere of ""Good Old-Fashioned Fun,"" which includes Harold Larkin making a snow angel in mayonnaise and Mujibur and Sirajul racing to the death in a soap box

S7·E43 Core

Natalie Portman, Travis Pastrana, Ted Alexandro

Nov 11, 1999

Dave shows a tape of stunt biker/scheduled guest Travis Pastrana's mishap that afternoon, and the injured daredevil later hobbles onstage. By the end of the show, the Hi-Ho Girls

S7·E44 Core

Stupid Human Tricks, Johnny Depp

Nov 12, 1999

Jay Johnson gives a tour of the set of ""The Early Show with Bryant Gumbel and Jane Clayson."" Also, Dr. Lou Arrone does his seasonal audience flu shots.

S7·E45 Core

Claudia Schiffer, Chris Cornell

Nov 15, 1999

Dave shows a clip that shows that even though he's only been on the network for two weeks, but there's already trouble on Bryant Gumbel's Early Show. Midway through an interview,

S7·E46 Core

Will Smith, Creed

Nov 16, 1999

Dave looks over the 2000 Places Rated Almanac, and then calls Donald Green, the mayor of Kankakee, Illinois, the city which rated lowest. As a condolence, Dave presents the mayor

S7·E47 Core

Anthony Edwards, Yasmine Bleeth

Nov 17, 1999

During a segment called ""What They're Doing to Boost Their Ratings,"" magician John Bundy makes a cue card disappear.

S7·E49 Core

Gabriel Byrne, Mark Borchardt

Nov 19, 1999

Gabriel Bryne plugs ""End of Days,"" while Dave says hi to Mark Borchardt's friend Mike.

S7·E50 Core

Bryant Gumbel, John Carpenter, Tony Bennett

Nov 22, 1999

Dave, Bill DeLace, Pat Farmer, Biff, intern Laura McCloud, Mike McIntee, Harold Larkin, Paul, Tommy Gordon, and George Clarke comment on ""What They're Thankful For.""

S7·E51 Core

Kathie Lee Gifford, Charlotte Church

Nov 23, 1999

Tony Mendez and Bill DeLace star in the new CBS midseason replacement series ""Next Time Bring Your Sister, You Hump."" Also, Kathie Lee Gifford delivers a turkey to Dave.

S7·E53 Core

George Carlin, Jewel

Nov 25, 1999

Live via satellite from Indianapolis, Mrs. Dorothy Letterman stands in her kitchen while Dave guesses what pies she baked for Thanksgiving. Afterwards, Dorothy shows her refrigera

S7·E54 Core

Stupid Pet Tricks, William Baldwin

Nov 26, 1999

A dog that fetches beer appears on ""Stupid Human Tricks""; Dave rants that all the other talk shows are copying the aforementioned segment; another Open Mic Night in the Mohave De

S7·E55 Core

Barbara Walter, Dan Patrick, Mary J. Blige

Nov 29, 1999

During the segment ""The Best and Worst of the Millennium,"" an image of Sam Donaldson's eyebrows suddenly comes to life. Also, during tonight's Open Mic in the Mojave Desert, a t

S7·E56 Core

Jenny McCarthy, Martha Stewart, Foo Fighters

Nov 30, 1999

Dave announces Monica Lewinsky is dating a former LSDL writer; a customer at Joe G's becomes the subject of his own ""E! True Hollywood Story""; Jenny McCarthy plugs ""Scream 3.""

S7·E57 Core

Tim Robbins, Laetitia Casta, B.B. King & Dr. John

Dec 1, 1999

Glen Campbell sits in; Dave discusses the list of good and bad cities that he mentioned on the show last month, then checks in with Kankakee, IL mayor Donald Green, who receives an

S7·E58 Core

Patrick Stewart, Al Franken, Bob Marley

Dec 2, 1999

For the umpteenth time this year, Dave orders Inky to spit out his gum; in honor of the Pokemon craze, Dave and the audience play ""Know Your Japanese Cartoon Crap.""

S7·E62 Core

Danny DeVito, Harry Smith

Dec 15, 1999

Throughout the night, various members of the Philadelphia Flyers shoot pucks at a cardboard cutout of Dave. Also, the Turkish guy has been promoted to stagehand.

S7·E69 Core

Matt Damon, Q-Tip

Dec 27, 1999

Feeling a little warm, Dave takes off his coat and does most of the show in just his shirt and tie; in ""Who Asked For It?"" Patrick Stewart and the Taco Bell chihuahua star in ""A

S7·E82 Core

Tom Arnold, Art Donovan, Lynryd Skynryd

Jan 13, 2000

Dave thanks Rob Burnett for landing Hillary Clinton on the show; Art Donovan plays ping pong with the disgusting Turkish guy; Lynyrd Skynard performs ""Sweet Home Alabama.""

S7·E83 Core

Regis Philbin, Mark Borchardt

Jan 14, 2000

Regis comes out for his interview with the disgusting Turkish guy, and later Dave tells him he's scheduled for an angiogram tomorrow morning.

S7·E84 Filler

Charles Grodin, Julia Roberts, Regis Philbin

Feb 7, 2000

It's the debut of Late Show Backstage, a clip show hosted tonight by Charles Grodin while Dave recovers from his quintuple-bypass surgery three weeks before. Amongst the highlight

S7·E85 Filler

Regis Philbin, Jerry Seinfeld, Danny DeVito

Feb 8, 2000

""Backstage,"" Day 2: Regis is now sitting in a whole new ""hot seat"" as the clip show's second host in as many nights. Tonight, he chats with Jerry Seinfeld, who introduces foota

S7·E86 Core

Paul Schaffer, Bruce Willis, Martin Short

Feb 9, 2000

Backstage #3: Paul appears on the Late Show for the first time since Dave's surgery, sitting on a movie set with Bruce Willis and his old friend Martin Short. Amongst tonight's cl

S7·E87 Core

Regis Philbin, Bill Cosby, Sarah Jessica Parker

Feb 10, 2000

Backstage, Day 4: Regis hosts again, chatting with Bill Cosby, Sarah Jessica Parker, and ""the great"" Pat Farmer. Amongst the clips: Bill goes to the balcony via a ladder; a Top

S7·E88 Filler

Paul Schaffer, Steve Martin, Billy Crystal

Feb 11, 2000

Backstage, Day 5: Paul hosts again, this time with Dave's buddies Steve Martin and Billy Crystal. Amongst the clips: Steve mans a projector to show a clip from his latest movie (se

S7·E89 Core

Paul Schaffer, Drew Barrymore, Ray Romano

Feb 14, 2000

Backstage, Day 6: In the cold opening, Paul tries to hit on Drew Barrymore. Amongst the clips: Drew flashing Dave on his 48th birthday; Drew and Dave getting married one month aft

S7·E90 Core

David Brenner, Kathie Lee Gifford, Alec Baldwin

Feb 15, 2000

Backstage, Day 7: Comedian David Brenner interrogates Kathie Lee Gifford and Alec Baldwin. Tonight's clips: Dave hijacks the Butterball turkey hotline (see Show #1345); a Top Ten

S7·E91 Core

Tom Snyder, Norm MacDonald, Don Rickles

Feb 16, 2000

Backstage, Day 8: Former ""Tomorrow"" and ""Late Late Show"" host Tom Snyder trades a bon mot or two with Norm MacDonald and Don Rickles. Tonight's clips: Norm vents after being d

S7·E92 Core

Tom Snyder, Mike Myers, Roseanne, Bonnie Hunt

Feb 17, 2000

Backstage, Day 9: Tom Snyder's still here, and this time he hosts Mike Myers, Roseanne Barr, and Bonnie Hunt. Tonight's clips: Dave shows film footage of Mike as a Canadian Cub Sc

S7·E93 Core

Tom Arnold, Robin Williams, Jack Hannah

Feb 18, 2000

""Backstage,"" Day 10: After chatting with Robin Williams, Tom Arnold openly comments that he's disappointed that Jack Hanna didn't bring any animals to the set. Tonight's clips:

S7·E96 Core

Julia Roberts, Israel Perlman

Feb 23, 2000

In his first post-surgery rant, Dave hollers about having to be driven to work for a while, and then really fumes about having to drink decaffeinated coffee; during a segment calle

S7·E98 Core

John Goodman, Norm MacDonald

Feb 25, 2000

Mailbag: George Clarke addresses the comments made about his weight problem, and Dave flashes back to when he woke up from surgery resembling Don King. Also, Hank Hill (of ""King

S7·E99 Core

Drew Carey, Dolly Parton

Feb 28, 2000

""Biff Henderson's America"" wrecks havoc in Badger, Minnesota, while Ian Anderson of Jethro Tull performs from his new album.

S7·E104 Core

Kathie Lee Gifford, Eddie Izzard

Mar 6, 2000

Paul is wearing a white tailored suit tonight, prompting Dave to point out that the bandleader is the musical director of the upcoming Rock n' Roll Hall of Fame induction ceremonie

S7·E106 Core

Tim Robbins, Melissa Etheridge

Mar 8, 2000

During ""Campaign 2000,"" Maria fills in for Rob, who's too busy working on the NBC pilot Ed; Biff presents the winning contestant of tonight's ""Beat the Clock"" with the home ver

S7·E109 Core

Gabriel Byrne, Martha Stewart, Moby

Mar 20, 2000

In a remarkably lengthy edition of ""Campaign 2000,"" Dave decides not to perform a piece comparing Bush and Gore, and then rants about his cable service. Afterwards, he admits th

S7·E110 Core

Matthew Broderick, Patti Smith

Mar 21, 2000

Biff devours the first robin of spring; the disgusting Turkish guy disappears; Pat and Kenny toss Matthew Broderick's birthday cake off the roof.

S7·E111 Core

Barbara Walters, Linda Cardellini, Kimmie Rhodes

Mar 22, 2000

Out on 53rd Street, Biff has a hand counter to help with the ongoing US Census; Dave shows a clip of Barbara Walters making a weird facial reaction during her latest Oscar special;

S7·E112 Core

Rosie Perez, Robert Klein

Mar 27, 2000

Rob Burnett returns to his desk on the corner of the stage; during ""Campaign 2000,"" Dave comments on CBS' new slogan (""The address… is CBS"") and cracks wise on Gene Keady's h

S7·E113 Core

Minnie Driver, Trisha Yearwood

Mar 28, 2000

Cold opening: Dr. Henry Kissinger announces that he's Dave's latest guest host, only to learn rather abruptly that Dave isn't sick anymore. Also, Dave has Rupert make a Hello Deli

S7·E114 Core

Kid Scientists, Jimmy Smits, Bruce Cockburn

Mar 29, 2000

Paul is introduced as Gaston Mazacani; Rob tells a funny story about an incident he had with a cab driver; during a segment called ""What I like about Spring,"" Alan unwittingly ad

S7·E116 Core

David Arquette, Al Green

Mar 31, 2000

During Campaign 2000, nobody can muster up any interesting topics, so Dave discusses Daylight Savings Time. Later, Dave brings up the recently-announced discovery that most gay me

S7·E118 Core

David Duchovny, Joe Pistone, Lou Reed

Apr 4, 2000

Dave announces that the show is adopting (and thus protecting) Cuban refugee Elian Gonzalez; Rupert makes a Biff Henderson sandwich for Paul, but not for Biff; Dave mentions that h

S7·E121 Core

Jon Stewart, Faith Hill

Apr 7, 2000

Actor Stephen Tobolowsky sits in; during Mailbag, we learn that Tony is Fidel Castro's estranged son; Jon Stewart tries to give Dave a human heart, and after Dave declines, Jon wal

S7·E123 Core

Jenna Elfman, Jeff Altman, Children of Uganda

Apr 11, 2000

Dave shows a clip of the recent live television remake of Fail Safe to demonstrate how lax CBS is at preventing profanities from being heard on-air. Also, Jenna Elfman promotes Ke

S7·E124 Core

Paul Newman, Pearl Jam

Apr 12, 2000

Dave announces he's 41 today because he's not counting his 12 years at NBC; during a segment called ""Job Hunting Tips,"" a barbershop quartet sings intern Bob Dickerson's resume;

S7·E126 Core

Ben Stiller, Brian Regan

Apr 14, 2000

Mick Taylor of the Rolling Stones sits in; with nothing to discuss, ""Campaign 2000"" lasts exactly six seconds; during Mailbag, Dave and Paul star in the new crime drama ""Good Co

S7·E127 Core

Jeff Foxworthy, Vertical Horizon

Apr 24, 2000

Paul says his 86-year-old father, Bernard Shaffer, had a quintuple bypass yesterday and later Bruce Kapler admits that his dad had a mere double bypass a year ago. Also, Dave stop

S7·E128 Core

Kristin Johnson, Live

Apr 25, 2000

After discussing Oprah's magazine on and off for the last few weeks, Dave announces that the first issue of ""D,"" the Dave magazine, has finally been rolled out. Also, Alan inter

S7·E129 Core

Dennis Quaid, Nicole Sullivan, Smashing Pumpkins

Apr 26, 2000

The INS captures and seizes Tony (twice); Purdue University basketball coach Gene Keady presents the Top Ten; The Smashing Pumpkins perform ""Blue Skies Bring Tears.""

S7·E130 Core

Salma Hayek, Ray Romano

Apr 27, 2000

The INS harasses Tony again; Rob Burnett appears live via satellite from LA for ""Campaign 2000""; Alan and his fat, gender-confused German son celebrate Take Your Daughters to Wor

S7·E131 Core

Natalie Portman, Lennox Lewis

Apr 28, 2000

During Mailbag, Alan admits to doing the deed with Janet Reno; production assistant Jeremy Weiner is subjected to Paul's favorite game, ""Staffer/Not a Staffer""; David Wells and

S7·E132 Core

David Spade, Marion Jones

May 1, 2000

Jimmy Webb and Glen Campbell sit in; Dave announces the blood test following last week's tick incident came out negative; in homage to a trend that sweeping various TV shows nowada

S7·E133 Core

Kim Basinger, Oasis

May 2, 2000

Live via satellite, we go to Preston Luggage in Dallas for another lengthy chat with Al Cordova and his assistant Kathy. Also, during ""Campaign 2000,"" Maria Pope introduces Rob

S7·E134 Core

Dana Carvey, Alison Krauss & Union Station

May 3, 2000

Dave honors ""Great Bald Men throughout History"" (him, Paul, and Dwight D. Eisenhower), while we watch the latest round of ""Biff Henderson's Fun with a Stopwatch.""

S7·E135 Core

Julia Louis-Dreyfus, Mitch Hedberg

May 4, 2000

Julia Louis-Dreyfus sings a song from West Side Story, and Jerry Seinfeld shows up to ""sing"" with her. Also, Dave shows footage of a woman dropping a bowling ball on her husband

S7·E137 Core

Betty White, Hanson

May 8, 2000

Apparently, Michelle O'Calaghan had another baby over the weekend; Dave says he's been called to jury duty, prompting a brief state of panic; during another ""What's New"" segment,

S7·E138 Core

John Travolta, Cast of Kiss me Kate

May 9, 2000

Dave continues to comment on the jury duty situation; the outside cam heads for Joe G's to play ""Would You Like To Win a Phony Check for 350 Million Dollars?""; after three years

S7·E139 Core

Kelsey Grammer, Caroline Rhea

May 10, 2000

Dave shows a CNN clip and a newspaper article pertaining to the jury duty controversy; during ""Campaign 2000,"" Paul admits he had a nightmare involving Maria Pope; Caroline Rhea

S7·E140 Core

Kathie Lee Gifford, Debra Messing

May 11, 2000

Kathie Lee Gifford discusses her pending departure from her talk show, then ""sings"" ""Love Never Fails.""

S7·E141 Core

Richard Simmons, Sarah Vowell

May 12, 2000

Rob and Dave go over the ground rules for Richard Simmons' latest visit tonight, including permission to use a fire extinguisher on Richard if needed; during Mailbag, Dave becomes

S7·E142 Core

Gillian Anderson, Foo Fighters

May 15, 2000

Peter Frampton fills in for Felicia Collins, who had a gig; Paul mentions that Anton is getting married over this coming weekend; Rob announces that Ed has officially been picked u

S7·E143 Core

David Hyde Pierce, Phish

May 16, 2000

Dave mangles the song ""Memory,"" while Rupert and Tony Randall are invited to ""Campaign 2000"" but have absolutely nothing worth saying.

S7·E144 Core

Hugh Grant, Carly Simon

May 17, 2000

Campaign 2000: Dave mentions the final episode of Beverly Hills, 90210, which proceeds into another one of Alan's crying jags.

S7·E145 Core

Jackie Chan, Jim Gaffigan

May 18, 2000

A man pretending to be Les Moonves delivers a Murder, She Wrote to Dave; the retirement of longtime White House press corps member Helen Thomas is discussed, so Dave shows a gag re

S7·E146 Core

Ringo Starr, Jane Krakowski

May 19, 2000

Dave announces that this is the season finale; Dave and Maria bid farewell to Rob Burnett, who will now be busy at work with Ed; Tonya Smith drops a bowling ball on the head of Ken

S7·E147 Core

Michael J. Fox, Richard Harris

May 22, 2000

Dave has problems adjusting the lumbar of his chair; Maria Pope brags about sleeping 21 hours straight; Michael J. Fox discusses his health-related ""retirement"" from television.

S7·E148 Core

Earvin 'Magic' Johnson, matchbox 20

May 23, 2000

Buzz Aldrin interviews this year's nominees for the Daytime Emmys in a spacesuit; Mujibur and Sirajul make a basketball wager with Rupert; Dave flips through a furniture catalog; M

S7·E149 Core

Nathan Lane, Gloria Estefan

May 24, 2000

James Earl Jones reads excerpts from Richard Simmons' new autobiography; ""Biff Henderson's America"" spends a couple of days in Calhoun, Missouri; a man pretending to be Les Moonv

S7·E150 Core

Sarah Jessica Parker, Penn & Teller

May 25, 2000

""Biff's Fun with a Stopwatch"" goes to a Pacers playoff game, during which he shoplifts, then harasses a fat guy.

S7·E151 Core

Dan Patrick, Owen Wilson, B.B. King

May 26, 2000

Dave drops his flipped pencil; during Mailbag, ""Bob Knight"" (Gerard) cannibalizes one of his players; Dave discusses his new chair.

S7·E154 Core

Robert Duvall, Don Henley

Jun 7, 2000

Dave says Campaign 2000 is ""largely void of content, (and) just a big waste of time."" During tonight's segment, however, Paul openly wishes that they would use his name as a clu

S7·E155 Core

Roger Ebert, Nia Long

Jun 8, 2000

Dave introduces Paul as Wayne ""Fat Boy"" Ewing; in honor of Survivor, George Clarke locks himself in the boiler room with nothing but a video camera and some rations, and eventual

S7·E156 Core

Martin Lawrence, Sinead O'Connor

Jun 9, 2000

Paul hosts a game called ""Staffer / Not a Staffer,"" in which Dave must guess if the person onstage is one of his underlings. He correctly guesses that it is a staffer; talent re

S7·E157 Core

Jimmy Connors, David Coulthard

Jun 12, 2000

Dave announces that he's fulfilled his jury duty up in Connecticut (he didn't make the cut); George Clarke continues to hold on for dear life in the boiler room; Biff visits the NB

S7·E158 Core

Marv Albert, Heath Ledger, Bon Jovi

Jun 13, 2000

Pat Farmer fixes Dave's chair; during an outside cam bit involving the CBS Store and a new electronics shop next door, Tony Randall is found standing on the roof for no particular

S7·E159 Core

Calista Flockhart, Isaac Hayes

Jun 14, 2000

Dave announces the birth of Kathy Mavrikakis' daughter; George Clarke is now trapped in the boiler room with two prostitutes, and then declares himself a ""Volcano God""; Isaac Hay

S7·E160 Core

Naomi Campbell, Juan Montoya

Jun 15, 2000

An old man (not Calvert) shuffles his feet onstage at the end of the monologue, then walks away; for Campaign 2000, Maria introduces Stacey Stillman, the first Survivor loser to ap

S7·E161 Core

Stupid Pet Tricks, Jimmy Kimmel, Billy Bragg & Wilco

Jun 16, 2000

Laurie Diamond brings Dave a new cup of coffee after someone steals his mug; during Mailbag, Gerard comments on Survivor; during ""Stupid Pet Tricks,"" Dave accidentally steps on d

S7·E163 Core

Mark Wahlberg, The Deftones

Jun 20, 2000

Paul Rodgers of Bad Company sits in on vocals; after Dave worries about possible civil disobedience in downtown LA after the Lakers' NBA Championship, Harold Larkin opens the door

S7·E164 Core

Dana Carvey, No Doubt

Jun 21, 2000

Dave shows a (phony) tape of Tiger Woods disintegrating opponents' balls with his laser eyes; during Campaign 2000, ""Rita Buttgas"" (Jude Brennan) returns to celebrate the one-yea

S7·E165 Core

Samuel L. Jackson, P.J. Ollson

Jun 22, 2000

George continues to hold on to dear life in the boiler room; ""non-surviving Survivor"" Ramona Gray interrupts ""Campaign 2000""; PJ Olsson performs ""Visine.""

S7·E166 Core

Piedmont Bird Callers, Keenan Ivory Wayans

Jun 23, 2000

Dave demonstrates troubles with newscasters who look at the wrong camera by moving his head every five seconds; during Mailbag, Biff chats with (pre-recorded) footage of Shaquille

S7·E167 Core

Tom Brokaw, Eric Idle

Jun 26, 2000

Dave repeats the footage of the dog bite from last week, now claiming that a ""wild dingo"" gave him rabies; Dave says George W. Bush is ""(as) dumb as a box of tools""; after his

S7·E168 Core

James Belushi, Third Eye Blind

Jun 27, 2000

Dave confesses that he has a slight crush on British news anchor Daljit Dhaliwal. Later, Alan interrupts Dave to congratulate the genetics scientists for cracking the genetic code

S7·E169 Core

Martha Stewart, Travis

Jun 28, 2000

Ted Nugent sits in; Dave rants about the ""wild island sex"" on Survivor; Martha Stewart arrives onstage on a red, white and blue bike, then gives The Nuge a guitar case made entir

S7·E170 Core

George Clooney, Warren Zevon

Jun 29, 2000

Maria tells Dave that newscaster/hottie Daljit Dhaliwal has been booked for next week, while Dave announces that he's doing a favor for a cop who stopped him for speeding recently

S7·E171 Core

Jay Thomas, David Sedaris

Jun 30, 2000

Dave brags that he's going to a gin n' tonic party after the show to look for some babes; during Mailbag, Biff blows Dan Rather's head off; a social worker named Lauren is the firs

S7·E172 Core

Tom Arnold, Brian Wilson

Jul 3, 2000

Dave plays the tapes of the dog bite and the deer attack yet again; during Campaign 2000, Maria introduces Dave to a First Mate in the US Navy, and 200 sailors from the USS Nassau

S7·E173 Core

National Hollerin' Champions, Skye McCole Bartusiak

Jul 4, 2000

Dave introduces the ""Late Show Liberty Dancers""; live via telephone, the owner of a nearby fireworks shop shoots explosives; the finalists of this year's National Hollerin' Champ

S7·E174 Core

Ellen Degeneres, Sheryl Crow & Steve Earle

Jul 5, 2000

The ""Liberty Dancers"" are rechristened ""The 5th of July Dancers""; an audience guy with a very distinctive goatee is the subject of a reality show-themed Top Ten; Dave bullies T

S7·E175 Core

Daljit Dhaliwal, Shawn Wayans

Jul 6, 2000

Dave finally meets Daljit Dhaliwal, who seems more interested in discussing world affairs then responding to Dave's thinly-veiled flirting. Also, Shawn Wayans promotes Scary Movie

S7·E176 Core

Jason Alexander, Tracy Chapman

Jul 7, 2000

Pat and Kenny replace Dave's chair; Dave welcomes Sgt. John Best of the Marshall (Texas) Police Department as the new co-host of the show; Jerry Foley appears on ""Staffer- Not a S

S7·E177 Core

Bruce Willis, Elliot Smith

Jul 17, 2000

Dave asks the viewers at home to have a nice, tasty beverage while they watch the show; Survivor tenth-place finisher Gretchen Cordy drops by; Elliott Smith performs ""Somebody Tha

S7·E178 Core

Marilu Henner, Dixie Chicks

Jul 18, 2000

Live from the theater basement, it's ""Let's Look for Rats."" The piece gets off to a slow start, until Alan runs downstairs to scare them into appearing on camera.

S7·E179 Core

Will Ferrell, Ben Folds Five

Jul 19, 2000

Dave continues to refer to Paul as Wayne ""Fat Boy"" Ewing; Alan shows Dave photos from his recent vacation; Maria confirms that Al Gore's interested in being a guest on the show;

S7·E180 Core

Jeff Daniels, Bob Sarlatte

Jul 20, 2000

Continuing with a running gag that started the previous week, Dave shows a ""Anna Kournikova Play of the Day"" (footage of her drinking a water bottle), followed by similar clips f

S7·E181 Core

Jon Stewart, Lucy Pearl

Jul 21, 2000

Dave trims off half of his tie; Alan has a crying jag over Kathie Lee Gifford's departure from her daytime talk show; Dave and Jon Stewart discuss politics.

S7·E182 Core

Harrison Ford

Jul 24, 2000

Pat and Kenny play Frisbee on the roof; the latest roll call introduces us to such people behind-the-scenes as Tony Mendez's puppet-master, Dave's fiancé and Paul's girlfriend (th

S7·E183 Core

Don Rickles, Ween

Jul 25, 2000

Dave suggests that someone on the staff is messing around with his chair; during ""Campaign 2000,"" Maria Pope tells Dave that there has been no word from the Bush camp; George Pli

S7·E184 Core

Kathie Lee Gifford, Bev Tanner

Jul 26, 2000

A new controversy brews as Dave claims he's going to dust his chair for ""ass prints""; Harold Larkin is attacked by a giant can of Off! bug spray; Kathie Lee Gifford receives a fa

S7·E185 Core

Connie Chung, Harry Hill

Jul 27, 2000

An audience member names all ten of her grandkids; the entire theater is filled with mosquito spray; Kathie Lee returns to present the Top Ten.

S7·E186 Core

Roseanne, David Gray

Jul 28, 2000

Dave hits Alan with a baseball bat; a blonde woman pretending to be Kathie Lee says goodbye forever to Dave; David Gray performs ""Babylon.""

S7·E187 Core

Edie Falco, Macy Gray

Jul 31, 2000

Dave shows (bogus) footage of a guy with defibrillator paddles standing near Dick Cheney during a television interview. Later, Macy Gray sings ""I Try.""

S7·E188 Core

Nathan Lane, John Pizzarelli Trio

Aug 1, 2000

During ""Campaign 2000,"" Tony Randall botches a comedy piece. Later, Nathan Lane talks about his dog and sings.

S7·E189 Core

Joy Philbin, Joe Lockhart

Aug 2, 2000

Alan goes berzerk and chases a man outside. Later, Dave chats with President Clinton's press secretary Joe Lockhart.

S7·E190 Core

Al Roker, Craig Ferguson

Aug 3, 2000

Maria introduces Dave to ""Survivor"" contestant Gervase Peterson. Later, NBC weatherman Al Roker promotes his new book.

S7·E191 Core

Darrell Hammond, Todd Rundgren

Aug 4, 2000

During CBS Mailbag, Mujibur and Sirajul debate ""Do you like monkeys?"", which results in a lengthy fistfight. Later, after another one of Inky Mendez's tantrums, we see an ad for

S7·E192 Core

Tom Selleck, Jordan

Aug 7, 2000

For no apparent reason, the CEO of Qualcomm presents Dave with a check for $25,000. Later, Dave chats with Jean Jordan, the stripper-turned-writer who was eliminated from ""Big Br

S7·E193 Core

Al Franken, Guster

Aug 8, 2000

""The Late Show Iron Chef"" pits Rupert Jee against Joe G. Rupert wins decisively with his chicken rollatini.

S7·E194 Core

Sam Donaldson, Kid Rock

Aug 9, 2000

Biff goes outside to count sweaty people; during ""Campaign 2000,"" Alan interrupts Maria with a soulful rendition of ""Send in the Clowns.""

S7·E195 Mytharc

Jennifer Lopez, Reggie Jones

Aug 10, 2000

Paul joins Dave for ""Know Your Jewish U.S. Senators."" During ""Campaign 2000,"" Maria introduces Dave to ""Survivor I"" runner-up Colleen Haskell.

S7·E196 Mytharc

Vince Vaughn, Eels

Aug 11, 2000

Vince Vaughn promotes ""The Cell,"" while Maria expresses her optimism in a possible debate between George W. Bush and Al Gore right here on the show.

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