---
title: "If I Had Legs I'd Kick You"
year: 2025
canonical_url: "https://www.archytele.com/show/if-i-had-legs-i-d-kick-you-2025"
media_type: "movie"
tmdb_id: 1160360
imdb_id: null
status: "Released"
runtime_minutes: 113
community_rating: 6.3
vote_count: 0
content_rating: "R"
---

# If I Had Legs I'd Kick You (2025) — Television & Cinema Intelligence Dossier

> **Archytele Living Vault Canonical Record**: https://www.archytele.com/show/if-i-had-legs-i-d-kick-you-2025

## Executive Summary & Cultural Positioning

If I Had Legs I'd Kick You is a film first released in 2025. Catalogued under Drama. Produced and broadcast by A24, Central Pictures, Fat City. Current status: Released.

## The Hook & The Verdict

**The Hook**: "A mother fights to hold her world together amid illness, loss, and betrayal."

### Why Watch
- Compelling portrait of a mother's struggle
- Tense, emotionally charged storytelling

### Caveats & Content Note
- R rating limits younger viewers
- Heavy subject matter may be intense
- Tone & Suitability: The film’s intense, mature themes and R rating make it suitable for adult audiences.

**Micro-Themes & Vibe Matrix**: intense, bleak, emotional

## Streaming Availability Matrix

Direct streaming licensing updates dynamically. Consult the live tracking interface at https://www.archytele.com/show/if-i-had-legs-i-d-kick-you-2025#watch.

## Creative Credits

- **Directed by**: Mary Bronstein
- **Networks / Studios**: A24, Central Pictures, Fat City

## Key Cast Continuity

- **Rose Byrne** as *Linda*
- **Conan O'Brien** as *Therapist*
- **A$AP Rocky** as *James*
- **Danielle Macdonald** as *Caroline*
- **Delaney Quinn** as *Child*
- **Mary Bronstein** as *Dr. Spring*
- **Ivy Wolk** as *Diana*
- **Mark Stolzenberg** as *Parking Attendant*
- **Manu Narayan** as *Landlord*
- **Christian Slater** as *Father*

## Canonical Frequently Asked Questions

### Q: What genre is "If I Had Legs I'd Kick You"?
It is a drama film.

### Q: When was the film released?
It premiered in the United States on October 10, 2025.

### Q: How long is the movie?
The runtime is approximately one hour and fifty‑three minutes.

### Q: What is the film’s rating?
It carries an R rating for mature content.

### Q: Who is the central character?
The story follows Linda, a mother confronting multiple personal crises.

## Grounded Source Citations

- [If I Had Legs I'd Kick You — The Movie Database (TMDB)](https://www.themoviedb.org/movie/1160360)

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*Generated by Archytele Open Intelligence Systems. Data verified against TMDB and JustWatch APIs.*